I have a new rule:
I can indulge in social media when I’m sick
So sick I relish the association between sick and social. Social and sick
Two things that sometimes make my stomach churn hard
Linked.
In.
My.
Brain.
That association will be useful when I’m feeling stronger
It will remind me to stay away
Sick is social and social is sick
It will help me
When I need less integration
More imagination
More objectivity
Less objectification
More nature-gazing
And meditating
Less influence
Less persuasion
Less selfies
Less ego
Less
But I’m sick
Virus or food poisoning; it’s unclear
For a short time I need homogenization
And holograms
I need an interference pattern
To confuse my brain
To transition me back to the land of the living
So I’ll browse a few posts
And half-heartedly check notifications
Try to feel connection
When I’m isolated by ill
Banished by fever
Feeling lonely
(which only happens rarely)
I could use a nurse
A mother-figure
Some nurturing love
The kind I haven’t had for at least a decade
It’s a sweltering early October
Full sun and 98 degrees outside
Hot and cold strikes hard inside
I can’t do anything
Except lay on the couch
Stomach churning with distaste
That rice might not stay down
And I have to take the dog out
He hasn’t been on a real walk for three long days
Today is his fake birthday
(his real one is uncertain)
The day he was adopted three years ago
It was supposed to be happy
We were going to go to the three dog bakery
For fancy overpriced treats
For wags
And smiles
And praise
For what a sweet, handsome fellow he is
(he really is)
Instead I’m on the coach apologizing to him
Crying
And thinking about my first dog
The one I lost 5 Octobers ago
The one I still miss
And still apologize to
For not being perfect
Social media is a so-so substitute;
What I really need is
Saltines and ice
And someone to
Run to the pharmacy
Make me iced jasmine tea
(unsweet, of course)
Toss me a fashion magazine for distraction
Take out my dog
So I can avoid the torturous Tennessee sun
Somebody to tell me
in a few days I’ll be alright
And the weather will be cooler
More like fall
Less like hell