Quick Bible Quiz: name a time or place when Jesus judged or condemned a woman for ANYTHING.  

I grew up reading the Bible and not a single incident comes to mind.

So, would Jesus stand outside an abortion clinic and harass or threaten or do violence to women? HELLLLLLLLNO. To those who claim they are "pro-life" for religious reasons ("Christian"), I encourage you to learn about--and follow--your own religion.  You know, the religion you claim is true and you seem to think everyone else should follow.

Jesus taught peace, love and empathy. But like the ruling classes of Europe before them, American Republicans and the so-called Christian Right have rebranded Jesus, bastardized him for their own gain. Someone's profiting from this rebranding effort, and it's not the poor, the sick or the homeless.

The Jesus evangelical Christians follow is a total asshole, pretty much the opposite of Jesus from the Bible. Jesus has been drastically rebranded from hero to villain. From olive-skinned peace-loving teacher to white, violently religious douchebag. 

In the scriptures, Jesus is an incredibly compassionate person, NOT one who denies basic human rights such as food, clothing and shelter to those who need it most.  NOT a god who withholds medicine to the sick, one who prefers to let people die to boost profits. (He did say "render unto Caesar what is Caesar's"--yes, the Jesus of the Bible told his followers to pay their taxes).  NOT one who loudly condemns women in public for so-called wrongdoing. NOT one who is in favor of humiliating or killing women for "justice".

Jesus was mostly pure love.  But you know what made him really pissed him off?  It wasn't women.  It was judgmental men--hypocrites. And men who made a profit off religion. Men who used religion for their own gains.

Sound familiar?

-JJ

P.S. Want to get your very own re-branded Jesus doll in time for Christmas?  Capitalism is the reason for the Season!
 

The way some men objectify women publicly on the street has been pissing me off for years. It's bullshit and it needs to stop, pronto.

In San Antonio street harassment was constant and scary. Any time I tried to walk somewhere, guys whistled at me, followed me in their cars, propositioned me when I was walking my dogs, told me to get into their cars at the bus stop; I almost never felt safe walking around that town.

Now that I'm in Seattle it's so much better.  But even in a city with significantly more gender equality, street harassment happens, especially when a woman passes a group of younger men on the street after dark. Last night it happened twice to me in about 10 minutes as I was walking around downtown before a show.

Both times it happened like this...

*one guy looks me up and down*

Guy: "I would hit THAT" / "I'd do THAT"

*other guys laugh*

I knew they were talking to me because both times I was the only woman around.  I can't tell you how terrible it is to be called an OBJECT--not 'her' but 'it' or 'that'--but when it happens in public it's even worse.

Are you purposely trying to dehumanize me?  
Were you raised by misogynistic wolves?
Or perhaps you're just a shitty excuse for a human being?

 

It's obvious that we're still a far cry from gender equality because street harassment still happens. A LOT. And to all kinds of women of all shapes and sizes, young and old.

Saying you'd have sex with someone so they can hear you on the street is sexual harassment, pure and simple. And dehumanizing the woman by calling her 'it' or 'that' adds insult to injury. But the intent is clear. Make a woman feel small. Make a man seem big.

Men: if you thoughtlessly engage in calling women "THAT" or "IT" (even in "jest"), please fucking check yourselves.  And if your mates do it, call them out.  All you have to say is "DUDE" in a disapproving voice or roll your eyes. Signify in some way that this is not cool. It's not that hard to do. Literally referring to a person as an object has never been right and I think most of us can agree that harassing any human being on the street is repugnant.

If all us--both men and women--express our disgust when demeaning sexual comments are made about a woman, the behavior will die out.  Organizations like Hollaback! and Stop Street Harassment are making people aware of the issue and helping women speak out. And if you haven't experienced street harassment, check out the viral video 10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman.

So...

To the next man who says "I'd hit THAT" (in front of me):

I won't pretend I didn't hear your douchebag comment, they way I usually do.

Next time I'm going to call your shitty ass out, right there on the street in front of your friends. I'm going to shame you publicly for sexually harassing me.

I'll make you think twice about making that kind of comment to another woman.

Sincerely,


The WOMAN you would 'do'

P.S. kudos to the amazing men who are enlightened enough to tackle this issue and do something about it. Aziz Ansari's Netflix series 'Master of None' has an amazing episode on sexual harassment entitled Ladies & Gentleman (Episode 7) that deals with men being kind of oblivious to the harassment women experience on a daily basis.  And blogger Nate Pyle explains how he will teach his son to see women as more than just bodies. The post is really amazing and worth a read.

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Tired of being harassed...or want to read more about the issue? Here are some good resources:

10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman

Hollaback! A movement to help end street harassment

Stop Street Harassment A non-profit org dedicated to documenting and stopping gender-based harassment worldwide

6 Things Men Can Do to Stop Street Harassment

 

A True Story of Weed & Backwards Masking by Jezebel Jones

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Note: This is a repost of a piece I did to celebrate 4/20 a couple of years ago. I took it down temporarily because I was concerned about "random" testing at my day job in Texas.  Have I mentioned I'm happy to be living in Washington state with lots of other "devil worshippers"? ;)

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I like to think I smoke marijuana because Freddy Mercury told me to.

Back when I was a child, I’d spend weeks of my summer at some Pentecostal camp or another, usually with my family. When I was about 12 or 13, I was finally old enough to go to Teen Camp on my own, which meant less crafts, less supervision, more sophisticated pranks (quick-set cherry jello in the toilets) and longer church services with age-appropriate topics like the evils of drinking, pre-marital sex and masturbation. Hello, Jesus Camp!

That week was a several hour presentation by not-quite-famous Peters Brothers, a pair of slick sibling “saints” who traveled around the country peddling a titillating, anti-rock music multimedia presentation called ‘The Truth About Rock’. Three glorious hours of demonic imagery & ungodly music mashed up with bouts of fiery preaching, followed by an offering and an altar call to repent of your music sins. It was profitable (tax-free!). Sexy and gory and riveting, OH MY!

Now, one of the topics covered in this anti-rock music extravaganza (you can watch an older 80’s version on YouTube and laugh your ass off) was backmasking or backwards masking, which is a technique used to hide subliminal sounds/phrases in music. These messages are only understandable if you were to play that bit backwards, and the Peters Brothers provided convincing evidence of evail, Satanic messages within popular rock songs.

One of the audio clips they played was “Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen, which happened to be a favorite song as a child. By favorite song that I mean we roller skated to it in grade school. They and many other preachers were saying Queen communed with the Devil because the song has the message, “It’s Fun to Smoke Marijuana” or “Decide to Smoke Marijuana” backmasked into the song. Hail Satan!

Fast forward many years later I’m living with my folks in Florida and waiting tables. If that doesn’t drive you to all kinds of drugs, I don’t know what will. Weed was readily available. I had given it the old “college try” in college but didn’t get high that first time.

This time I was a bit older—maybe even wiser—and wanted to know what I was getting into. So I start doing research on marijuana on the internet—the effects, the different types, the history of use, the laws. And that’s how I found out about medical marijuana and how it’s helping so many people cope with various conditions (especially pain) with minimal if any side effects.

It was an eye-opening experience—marijuana was not the evil drug that we’d been warned about. In fact, it was much safer than many common over-the-counter & prescription drugs…and it seemed like it might be fun. So I decided to give it another try. The first time I got high was really amazing. With my mind relaxed, I chatted happily with my co-workers, forgetting my troubles for a few hours, with absolutely no hangover in the morning. And no regrets.

Several years later when I started writing and playing, marijuana was the ultimate Muse, the valve that opened the flow of creativity for me. Yes, I have stupid stoner moments, and plenty of them. But I’ve also solved complex problems, eased physical pain, had deep spiritual insights and awakenings, and stopped taking anti-depressants with dangerous side effects. And experienced much growth, creativity and satisfaction in my musical development. Personally, I’m thankful for this good plant.

While we were recording my first record “Queen of the Devil’s Rodeo” I was telling my co-producer—David J Russ—about the Peters Brothers, when suddenly I remembered that reference to the Queen Song. We had a good laugh about it. Then I had an idea…

For laughs, I recorded me saying “decide to smoke marijuana” and we reversed it, adding it to one of my songs; a homage to Queen, a bit of a “fuck you” to the crazy Peters Brothers and a pro-pot statement all wrapped up in a private joke, buried in a song. You can listen to The Prisoner here; the marijuana bit happens around 1:42, and we threw in an extra backmasked bit at the end (reversed a piece of the whole song) to give it an authentic “Satanic” sound.

Happy 4/20 & Happy Record Store Day 2013!!! Please support legal weed AND your local record stores.

-Jezebel

P.S. As I’m writing this post, I’m playing Queen’s Greatest Hits on vinyl. And smiling. Hail Satan!

P.S.S. And if you missed this awesome Backwards Masking DJ mix of 'Another One Bites the Dust', check it out.
 

Goodbye, Texas.  

I'll be hitting the road soon--remaining dog at my side--driving  through Roswell, NM, Moab, UT and Boise, ID, on my way to my new (and old) home, Seattle.  I've landed a good day job, and a songwriter often needs one of those things to pay the bills.  I love a good road trip and this one's bound to be inspiring. 

I'm talkin' about the road.  Inspiring. Expansive. Full of Revelations.

But if the car is the modern American horse, what are planes?  

Planes are annoying.  Too much waiting. Too little room, obnoxious people, crying babies. And then there's the crotch-grabbing before you even board the plane...

We teach our children not to let strangers touch their genitals (STRANGER, DANGER!!!), but apparently random agents of the government can touch our genitals all they want, in a public place.

Today one of my favorite alternative weekly's--the Denver Westword--posted a funny story on TSA crotch-grabbing memes.  As I scrolled through, I laughed but started to get a teeny bit annoyed that all the TSA memes they posted were of MEN.  I have first hand experience with the TSA fondling my labia, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. 

So I thought I'd post a female TSA meme--surely they existed.  But after some unsuccessful googling, apparently the internet thinks airport crotch groping it IS a male problem, because I couldn't find much in the way of female TSA memes.  

So I found a picture that works (and jives well with my upbringing) and made my own. 

Happy Sunday, Everyone.  

Fly America at your own risk.

-Jez

 

Today I saw my favorite pro-choice sign so far: it was created by a 14-year old Austin, Texas gal named Tuesday Cain:

The sign read: “Jesus isn’t a Dick, So Keep Him Out of My Vagina”.

It's caused a bit of hub-bub and naturally it went viral. Some cowardly members of the religious right have attacked this young girl, calling her a slut and worse. You can read the whole story here.

Cain’s sign made me laugh this morning—you know how I love irreverent humor—but has a very serious side to it, one that inspired me to share this post. It’s true. Jesus ISN’T a dick. But for awhile I thought he was.

I was baptized Catholic and raised Pentecostal. I spent a considerable amount of time in church or engaged in religious activities: studying the Bible, memorizing scripture, singing about Jesus, practicing the “gifts of the spirit”—prophesying and speaking in tongues. I felt a deep connection with the story of Christ, how much he loved others and his ultimate sacrifice. It’s a story that’s very easy to connect to. In our heart of hearts, we are all looking for unconditional love.

Starting at age 17, I went through three periods of rebellion; a trio of rumspringa, so to speak. At the end of these backsliding stints, I realized many of the “facts” I had learned as a child didn’t add up. I started seeing the Pentecostal church as a glorified pyramid scheme, filled with tons of rules and judgment; taught through musical theatre, enforced through fear. Financed by people like me.

When I went to college, I met people from all cultures, backgrounds and religions and started seeing life as expansive, not restrictive. As full color, not black and white. I broadened my ideas about life and about God. As my newborn eyes began to open, I suddenly resented being told how to interpret the Bible, who to date, how much money to give, who I should vote for. Not being able to make my own moral decisions. Eventually I became resentful about my intensive religious upbringing (i.e. brainwashing) and I abandoned my faith in Jesus and my religion.

But the pendulum has started its reverse swing. Although I often identify with atheists and firmly believe in the separation of church and state, I’ve become comfortable saying I DON’T KNOW whether or not god exists. Historically, we’re quite ignorant, so how could we say one way or the other? And the concept of god is ever-changing.

I also feel comfortable saying I DON’T KNOW if Jesus was a real person or not; there is historical evidence, but then again we know how corrupt the Catholic church was, and continues to be. To me, it no longer matters if he was the exact person of the scriptures; any way you slice it, the teachings of Christ are mind-numbingly beautiful. My attitude towards Jesus has softened. He wasn’t a dick. It’s not his fault many of his followers are dicks.

It’s ironic that the extreme right uses Jesus as their icon, their official spokesman, because if he were alive today, he wouldn’t have anything to do with them. The only people he seemed to hate were religious hypocrites. When he said crazy stuff like it’s impossible for rich people to get into heaven and threw businessmen out on their asses for making money off religion, Jesus really pissed off the religious conservatives. Jesus was the antithesis of religion and its laws. He claimed a higher law, one of radical love.

Many people intuitively understood the gospel of love and flocked to him; by making Jesus a messiah, they made him a threat. So religious and political forces conspired to murder him in the name of God and State. They crucified the Outlaw of Love. Nicely played, religious folk. Nicely played.

And that’s the angle of the story that gets missed: if you piss off well-to-do religious folks who have strong political connections (inevitably they do), you can end up in a world of pain. Or dead. It doesn’t matter their race, creed or religion. It’s about control. Jesus was in the way, at least he was when he was alive.

Jesus wasn’t a dick. He gave WITHOUT trying to control, which is the very definition of love. He didn’t go around preaching fire and brimstone, picketing soliders’ funerals, telling gay people they were going to hell or condemning women for having sex or an abortion. Abortion has been practiced since the very beginning; he never even mentioned it, just like he didn’t mention homosexuality. No, he wasn’t a dick. He emanated love at all times. People were changed in the presence of that love. He fed the hungry. Clothed the poor. Extended mercy to lawbreakers. Healed the sick. Willingly gave his life for others.

His life was a supreme example of love and peace; exactly the opposite of today’s so-called Church. And they wonder why “the world” makes fun of Jesus…it’s because his so-called followers have made a mockery of him, by loudly hating in Jesus’ name.

Seriously, we could all use a REAL Come-to-Jesus Meeting. And that meeting should dissolve religion in favor of love. If the collusion between religious powers-that-be and political powers-that-be killed Jesus—one of the most loving people ever written about—aren’t they likely to destroy us all?

Let’s at least separate these two troublemakers.

Let's practice love, not religion.

XOXO, Jezebel
 

I’m sure y’all have heard what’s going on here in Austin, Texas.

Republicans all over the country have aggressively trying to insert their right-wing “values” into our collective lady-business, but few states have taken things as far as Texas. The bill HB2—introduced recently during a special session of Texas Legislature—would severely limit safe, legal abortion in Texas. It limits choice via access and it is complete horseshit, since abortion has been a fundamental federal right protected under the Constitution for over 40 FUCKING YEARS.

This situation really caught the national eye last month, when one amazing politician, Senator Wendy Davis, filibustered a previous version of the bill for nearly 13 hours straight without food, water or the ability to sit down. And who says the government doesn’t condone torture?

Yes, the eyes of the country are very much on Austin, TX. Yet the Texas State Legislature—overwhelming controlled by Republicans—doesn’t seem to mind appearing like total douchebags and buffoons in front of the media. Not only are their blatant attempts to quell the people's opposition deplorable, but the shenanigans have backfired, igniting a fiery feminist movement both here in Texas and all over the U.S. Oops.

Oh, they look like douchbags by trying to illegally pass an earlier version of the bill, arresting elderly ladies and cutting off testimony they don’t like, but it’s their sheer buffoonery that may prove to be their demise. Conservative Republicans are making themselves look like a secret society of village idiots. Unfortunately, they’re not very good at keeping secrets.

In a scenario that could be the funniest article you never read in The Onion, today’s state capitol fiasco was a doozy.

In preparation for today’s proceedings, the Texas Department of Safety staffed extra officers to help search handbags for the most deadly of weapons: the common tampon. OK, in all fairness maxipads were not exempt from search and seizure. Nor were—in a masterful stroke of irony— condoms. That’s right, folks. Today your tax dollars were hard at work protecting politicians from possible trajectory cotton and accidental cloaking.

Naturally and immediately, this created the world’s funniest shitstorm on Twitter. Activists aptly dubbed the ridiculousness #TamponGate and it has yielded some of the most hilarious material I’ve ever seen on the social network. Professional comedians beware: the amateurs were faster—and maybe funnier—than you on this one.


Top 10 TamponGate Tweets:

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-Jezebel

A very healthy dialog took place in San Francisco last weekend. A Concert-Conversation of press-worthy proportions.

When rebel folk singer Michelle Shocked started slinging some anti-gay rhetoric during her second set, the audience responded, first by talking back, then leaving. Finally the club owner (who is gay) apologized to the dwindling crowd and shut down the show.

I’ll admit, I don’t know Michelle’s music that well. On a whim, I picked up Short, Sharp, Shocked (1988) on vinyl last year. I’d heard of Shocked and loved the cover and for $4 I took a chance. The album showcases her beautiful stories and voice. The album is classic; equal parts folk, blues and country, it stands the test of time. It also has a strong conscience. A great example is the song ’Graffiti Limbo’ (watch the video), which talks about the unjust death of graffiti artist Michael Stewart, who was killed by NYC police in 1983.

After I bought the record, I found out the cover was not staged; it was run on the front page of the San Francisco Examiner during the Democratic National Convention. Shocked and others were protesting the practice of U.S. corporations giving money to both major parties (i.e. hedging their bets) during political elections.

I admire female musicians like Shocked who are feisty, willing to stir up some trouble and even break the law when it is warranted. Recently she was arrested again as part of the Occupy movement. Both on and off stage, Shocked has been known as an artist who cares passionately about social justice issues.

However, Shocked’s anti-gay ranting over the weekend was nothing more than the canned cream-corn rhetoric of the evangelical Christian movement. No more, no less, word for word. Has her passion for social justice been hijacked by the religious right? Has she been brainwashed by the blood of the lamb?

As a former Evangelical, Pentecostal Christian I know the game plan. I was raised to execute the game plan. You may already know, but in case you don’t, let me tell you what it is, in a flying nutshell from 50 feet:

The world must conform to our idea of God. If it does not, it is evil and must be destroyed.

I’m dead serious about this. In my roughly 20 years in the Pentecostal church, this is my testimony, and it’s based on observation and first hand experience.

Evangelical Christianity is an abusive boyfriend. When he’s sober he'll just hit you up for some money, but when he’s drunk he’ll just hit you. Oh, but he’s so good at sweet-talking. He’ll make you think it’s all your fault and shame you into submission. Don’t question him, it makes him angry. Obey, obey, obey. Soon his thoughts and your thoughts and his words start coming out your mouth. Submission is vital to this sect of Christianity, and they preach about it all the time. A person who dares rebel against the church authority or question the leadership is called a 'Jezebel'.

The Cult of Christianity can embrace you lovingly, but it has an equally abusive, hateful side. If you’re familiar with my music, you’ll probably recognize these themes in many of the songs from ‘Queen of the Devil’s Rodeo’ (download it free).

Given your pain, you needed someone to blame
Born into nothing more lethal than shame
So you supplied all the cobwebs and lies
To be re-born is to be—certainly—hypnotized

                      –Intro to ‘The Prisoner’ by Jezebel Jones

Until Michelle Shocked converted to the born-again ideology in the late 90’s, she had always maintained that her sexual orientation could not be defined as either gay or straight. But she did clearly identify with the label “lesbian”. In 1990 she told a Chicago newspaper, "I resent like hell that I was maybe 18 years old before I even heard the 'L' word. I mean, that's understood, growing up sheltered in a Mormon environment. But it would have made all the difference for me had I grown up knowing that the reason I didn't fit in, was because they hadn't told me there were more categories to fit into”.

Her audience—which includes lots of gay folks—was understandably upset at her hateful speech and slurs towards homosexuals last weekend. Artists should be held accountable for their statements on stage and it’s ok—and even necessary—to have fans do just that. Especially if they feel you’re not being truthful with them. And I don’t believe she is being truthful. She’s denying who she has been all along; a bi-sexual woman with anarchist tendencies. Unfortunately, her religion does not support who she is. Better to keep on the good side of the Cult of Christianity.

I’ve read variations on the same response to the backlash in the media…“liberals—they’re fine with everyone having their own opinion as long as it agrees with theirs”. Such a sad, tired argument. Yes, Shocked had every right to say what she said and the audience let her know they didn’t like it one bit. Sounds like a healthy dialogue to me.

I hope she will find her own voice again and stop parroting this type of hateful speech. Jesus never said a word against homosexuals; Shocked would do much better to emulate Christ and preach radical love, not recycled hate.

Update: Michelle Shocked's two-part statement is shamelessly untruthful, saying she was repeating the beliefs of other Christians: "If I could repeat the evening, I would make a clearer distinction between a set of beliefs I abhor, and my human sympathy for the folks who hold them". But if you listen to the audio of the show (comments start at 4:46) she clearly states that she shares in their opinions and says "Once Prop 8 gets uh...repealed and once preachers are held at gunpoint and forced to marry the homoSEXuals, I'm pretty sure that that'll be the signal for Jesus to come on back". She then goes on to say "This is one woman's opinion and it's fun, a lot of fun" and "If someone would be so gracious as to please tweet out 'Michelle Shocked just said from stage God hates faggots' ". OK, yes, the latter comment was probably meant to be sardonic, but in light of her earlier statements, it had the ring of (shocking) truth.

I just noticed the other day that I had nearly 6,000 hits on a crappy version of Real Life's 'Send Me an Angel" on YouTube.  Honestly, I'd forgotten how terrible it was.

I recorded a much better (and more bittersweet) version by candlelight the other night...Video: Send Me an Angel performed by Jezebel Jones.

Happy Holiday Shopping! Thanks to all of you angels for supporting small businesses, artists and musicians.

-Jezebel